Kicking A Good Batman When He’s Down.

Honey Nut Cheerios… you just made Batman’s shit-list. May God have mercy on you.

I’m gonna include a link to the online dictionary’s entry for ‘shit-list.’ Not so much because I don’t think any one reading this will know what a shit-list means, more because you can press the speak-button and make the internet say “shit-list” in a really funny computer voice.

Someone give Batman a hug.

Panic Room.

Leaking new Watchmen artwork on Christmas day? Sneaky, sneaky, DC. Was it nicknamed ‘Panic Room’ because that’s where all the DC executives will be hiding when they finally put these comics out?

I’m still in two minds about the whole Watchmen sequels\prequels thing. I kind of come down on the side of ‘it was written to be a stand alone book’, and ‘Watchmen without Alan Moore, just ain’t Watchmen.’ That said, Watchmen is the most important graphic novel of all time (in the Superhero genre, that is.) There’s a good chance we may talk about characters like Rorschach or Doctor Manhattan in a hundred years, in the same way we talk about Sherlock Holmes or Dracula these days. Owning that Golden Goose and not being able to help yourself to those Golden Eggs must be driving DC mad. If all DC have got to do is step on Alan Moore’s toes, I do think it’s more of a case of when, rather then if. I’m not sure how much it’ll really gonna bug Alan Moore. I think I heard he doesn’t even own a copy of Watchmen anymore. Plus, he’s spent recent years writing books full of other writer’s characters I.E. Lost Girls, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Neonomicon. It most of crossed his mind that sooner or later other writers would come for his. In most cases, people wait for the writer to die (giving him\her a good reason to turn in their grave), is twenty-five years long enough? Some would say it’s a miracle DC waited that long.

To sum up. I don’t really think you really need sequels or prequels to Watchmen, but I ain’t gonna be nailing babies to church doors in protest. It would be nice to see Dave Gibbons draw Rorschach again, if nothing else. I guess Watchmen has got to the point where it’s such an iconic story, and what with it being twenty-five years old now, there’s a whole generation of writers and artist that wants to take those characters and add, expand the mythology. I just wonder where it will all end?


Moving on…

So it’s a Superhero porn-parody… in 3D. This film couldn’t be more aimed at the nerd market if it tried. I’ve never seen a proper porn-parody, only bits and trailers like this one. A while ago I heard they did a Doctor Who one, and as a massive Doctor Who fan, I talked myself into how it would be ok to splash out (insert pun here) and actually order a copy. That's the genius of a porn-parody. As a fan and collector, it eats you up inside if you know it’s out there and you don’t own it. Luckily I watched a trailer first before ordering, and happily now feel I dodged a Tardis-shaped bullet on that one. It looked so bad, I realized I COULD happily live the rest of my life without ever seeing it. I wonder if there’ll ever be a Watchmen porn- parody? A parody of the famous Doctor Manhattan gang-bang scene, maybe? You’d lose a lot of money having to buy all that blue body-paint however. Unless you did the old Roger Corman trick of using sets and props twice to get two movies out of your buck. Maybe a big Doctor Manhattan gang-bang and then maybe make a Smurf porno or something. The same actress could play Silk Spectre and Smurfette?

Merry Xmas.

Well… I’m signing off for now. Be back soon. All that is left for me to do is wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS, and nothing says that better then a flashing Santa. Staged or real? You decide. Hope you’re having, and continue to have, a great Xmas. You know it’s two hours and forty-five minutes until the big day… I should really start wrapping some presents and filling in some Christmas-Cards for tomorrow. I’m not sure how much later I can really leave it.

The Season Of Giving.

I debated if it was worth posting any artwork this week, but in the end, thought I would, even if it’s only a couple of tiny ones. Looking forward to a time hopefully pretty soon, when I can have a crack at doing some pin-ups. Before that though, I really need to stock up on ink and Bristol board in the new year. Running kind of low on both, just in case Santa’s reading this for tomorrow night.

Here’s an unexpected Xmas treat I came across last night. An Xmas episode of Utter Shambles with guest Mark Gatiss and Alan Moore. Talking about what’s on TV in the UK this year over Christmas, and Xmas horror films amongst other things. I listened to it earlier while getting some last minute inking done and enjoyed it a lot. It was a real out-of-the-blue Christmas treat.

Jenifer.

So… last night I kind of got going with my Dario Argento Xmas (yeah, that’s still happening. Get on board or fall under wheels, baby.) A couple of months ago I was reading the Creepy Presents: Bernie Wrightson collection that Dark Horse just put out. The creepiest story by far was the reverse Beauty And The Beast story ‘Jenifer.’ It’s hard to say what the scariest short-story I’ve ever read is, as I’ve read a fair few, but Jenifer would have to be a contender. It’s a very unsettling tale, and with Bernie Wrightson doing the art, it packs a hell of a punch. I was always curious as to what Dario Argento had done for the Masters Of Horror TV show from a few years back, so when I recently found out he had done an adaptation of Jenifer, I knew I had to check it out. I’ve noticed reviews have been mixed. I think it maybe one of those horror tales that is so freaky, it puts half the audience off even if they watched it and it scared them. It’s a curse I’ve noticed more and more of late. Some times a horror story can do it’s job a little too well. Something can be so upsetting, people want to distant themselves from it (the best example I can think of is Human Centipede. I was standing in a HMV a few months back, when I spied a freshly released copy of Human Centipede 2 on the shelf, but wouldn‘t touch it, partly because there was a cute girl a few feet down from me who I didn‘t want to see me handling such filth. I haven‘t even plucked up the nerve to watch the first one yet.) Not that this adaptation of Jenifer is perfect. The story takes a couple of missteps once or twice, but that said, I thought was true enough that it’s well worth a watch, even if it does come up a tiny bit short compared to the original story. Also, if some people found this story a bit much, what would they have thought if they had left in the monster blow-job scene, or the wang munching scene? Two scenes that a lot of people are probably glad are deleted.

Speaking of things that are too scary. I’m gonna have to face the fact that I’m avoiding a certain DVD in my unwatched pile. It’s been sitting there, bottom of the pile, for probably over a year now. So many other horror movies have come and gone and this DVD is still not even unwrapped. I’ve heard nothing but good things about Teeth and yet always pass it over when I go to watch a new DVD. I wonder what it is about a movie about a vagina with teeth that on some level I find off putting? I’m gonna have to man up and put it on sooner or later. For too long I’ve been kidding myself that I’m not avoiding it and just haven’t felt like watching it.

When You Gotta Go.

Is that appropriate? Posting a panel of someone having a wizz this close to Jesus birthday? I’m sorry… I feel I’ve let us both down there. Let’s move on quickly before I find myself on Santa’s naughty list. You don’t want to mess with someone who can sneak into your house in the early hours of the morning undetected and drunk on sherry. Is sherry the one that makes you a mean drunk, or am I thinking of gin?

The fact that there is only going to be half as much Doctor Who next year and not until later in the year is a bit of a kick in the balls, but in these dark, dark days, half a season is better than nothing. Also, finding out today that a classic Doctor Who story I’ve been waiting years and years to get released is finally getting put out softens the pain, too. It’s been a long time coming.

Claws And Flaws.

Wow… are they really running these ads in comics or did I just fall for an online hoax? It’s hard to tell these days. I don’t live near a comic-book shop, so I can’t check them out for myself to see if they‘re real or not. I wonder what fan-girl reaction has been like for these ads? Not knowing any, sadly, I can only guess. Heart in the right place? Or smut posing as a good cause? I guess time will tell. You can’t get too mad at this ad (can you?) if the worse it does is generate buzz around awareness of breast cancer. You’d think Catwoman would take the claws off first. She really does live dangerously if she gives herself breast exams while wearing those. She’s hardcore. I look forward to all the numerous parodies these ads will no doubt kick up.

Sticking with my Dario Argento themed Christmas. I’ve not really been holding out much hope for his forthcoming Dracula 3D. I’ve seen a lot of Dracula movies of late and maybe it’s just me being burnt out on that particular story (hell, I even read the cliffs notes for Dracula this year.) But after watching the new trailer that’s just been released, it’s jump the list to film I most want to see in 2012. I just hope I get the chance to see it in 3D. I’ve got a nasty feeling the only way I will, is if I make some great trek across the UK to some arty cinema somewhere. I doubt they’ll release it on DVD in 3D. If a horror movie was made in 3D, then it’s not unreasonable to want a 3D home copy (yes, I’m looking at you Flesh For Frankenstein.) This trailer also makes me long for the days when woman would bathe by one standing naked in a small bowl, while another would slowly and gently wash her all over, while trying to push any strange and exciting lesbian thoughts from her mind. Did woman ever really bathe like this, or is it something that movies just made up? Curse whoever invented the shower. This film does look like it has the flaw of that trend of a sexy Dracula, however. I wonder why films seem so against showing Dracula as an ugly-bugly. Or old? I should also add, I do have a massive crush on Asia Argento. A little bit kinky, a little bit kooky. She works for me on a lot of levels. Wikipedia also says she’s agoraphobic, which is perfect for me, as I’m always stuck in doors drawing anyway and barely leave the house myself. We could be socially-awkward together.

Also…

Dear Amazon (the company, not the rain forest), I know it’s nearly Christmas, but do you have to Email every other hour trying to get me to buy more stuff? I’ve done my Xmas shopping this year, let it go. Take Xmas off and we’ll meet up for the January sales.

Lie, Lie, Lie.

Can’t get this song out of my head (so beware before pressing that play button. It’s like a sound-parasite.) I heard it on the credits to Fear Itself. Right now I’m really into TV horror anthologies. That seems to be my latest itch. There wasn’t a UK release of Fear Itself, but I found a foreign, region 2 complete box-set. No idea what the blurb on the box says and for some reason I have to turn off foreign subtitles ever time an episode starts, but hey, at least it works. I was just going post the intro to Fear Itself, but being an American TV show, for some reason it’s embed code is disabled. I don’t know why, I’ve notices a lot of U.S. shows do it on YouTube (for example, I’ve been dieing for ages to post this Robot Chicken\Friday The 13th video.) So I’ll post the actual song above, but you can check out the Fear Itself intro here. If you can listen to this and don’t get it stuck in your head, you’re tougher than I am.

As for Fear Itself. Really loved the first episode. Had Vampires, that kinky chick off the first season of Californication. There’s a lot to like about the first episode. The next three were ok. A bit of a come down after the first. The next episode ’Eater’ is meant to be the best of the series. It’s also meant to be based on an episode of some UK Channel 5 horror show called Urban Gothic from 2001. Ring any bells? Me neither. Tried looking it up online, but no luck. Channel 5 are a bit shit at making their back-catalogue available.

Lost In Time.

So this happened today (or rather yesterday.) If I’m honest, it would have been great if it was episodes from other stories (like Tenth Planet or The Evil Of The Daleks or The Abominable Snowmen), but hey… it’s a step in the right direction. Considering many people said no more episodes would ever be found, it’s a little ray of hope. It says on Wikipedia that if you find one of the missing episode, that the BBC will give you a life-size Dalek… I know Wikipedia isn’t the most trustworthy source, but I so want that to be true.

Earn That Turkey.

Here’s a new shot just in time for the weekend. Looks like someone needs a loo break.

It’s a weird period, December. Part of me wants to rush and push myself and try and get as much done before 2012 as I can. Part of me wants to slow up and enjoy what’s left of 2011. You usually get a little break around the Xmas day period. Question is, as it approaches, should you speed up or slow down? I’m not sure how I should handle the next couple of weeks, work wise. Work like a Demon or snacks and movies? After Xmas, I plan to work like a Demon, so as to take my mind off the horror that is January.

Just finished reading Neonomicon this week. Yeah, it’s got some close to the bone stuff in it, but nothing as bad as some people on the internet would have you believe. I wouldn’t recommend it if easily offended. There is at least one truly shocking scene in there. I see it’s only got average reviews and ratings online, but it’s probably one of my favourite modern Alan Moore comics. That said, if you’re not a Lovecraft fan, you might feel a bit alienated from the story. I don’t really wanna say too much about this book, as it has a couple of tricks up its sleeve and is best read cold. Because of the nature of some of the plot points in it, you don’t have to look very far online to find spoilers. I wouldn’t research it online if you hate coming across spoilers, but if you’re worried it may be a bit much for you but you want to read it, you can easily find out what to expect with a quick google search. Here’s a decent review I found that doesn’t give too much of the game away. Also, the art is excellent. I read a rumour online that this nearly got banned in the UK. If that’s true, I’m glad it didn’t. This may be the best horror-comic of 2011... That said, I’m tired and can’t remember what else was published this year, so it kind of wins by default.

Top Five.

I think I’ve probably talked a bit about my love for Geof Darrow’s artwork on here before. Easily in my top five favourite artist of all time (that’s right, I have a top five favourite artist of all time.) It would be a crime if I didn’t post a link to this amazing interview with him about his work and career. It’s worth following this link and scrolling down just for the unused Superman\Cat Lady cover that never was. Damn you again, DC. It’s a brilliant cover.

Also this website has some amazing pod-cast interviews with some great comic-book artists that’s well worth checking out. Come to think of it, I think you can just download the interview itself as a pod-cast off this website, but then you don’t get any pretty pictures with that.

You know, since we’re on the subject of my top five artist of all time, I see Brian Bolland has just started a blog.

A Lone Glass Of Water.

Most horror comics have stuff like guys fighting Zombies with chainsaws, or Vampires getting staked violently in the heart… here my latest panel… of someone walking… away… with a glass… of water in the… background. Trust me, this shot will be a lot spookier when read and put into context. If and when Issue #3 ever finally goes public, hopefully this will be one of the creepiest scenes of the whole issue, if not the whole story. That said, it’ll be nice when I’ve wrapped this issue up and can find some time to draw some messy, more in-your-face pin ups. I’ve already had a couple of ideas I want to develop. Roll on 2012... No… wait… I turn 30 in 2012... SHIT!… stay, 2011, stay. I presume when I hear everyone talking about the world coming to an end in 2012, that’s what they’re talking about? Me turning 30.

Watchmen 2? Or by the sounds of it, prequels to Watchmen. As bad as that may sound, I’d probably read it, which is why they probably will do it. Even if the whole world slags it off and it’s another Dark Knight Strikes Again, it’s gonna sell millions. It’s like Hollywood making god-awful sequels. It’s a giant cash-cow that’s been getting fatter and fatter as the years pass. All DC has to do is commission it and ride the backlash, and there’s no way it wouldn’t return big money, even if it will probably end up more looking like A-list fan-fiction. They killed Superman. Did the unthinkable and rebooted all their comics. And worse of all, got rid of Wonder-Woman’s Hot-Pants. This is nothing to DC.

This all reminds me… I need to pick up a copy of Holy Terror. Had a quick flick through it in a book shop last week. I know the reviews have been pretty poor, but I gotta say I kind of liked the look of the art. I wanna read it myself before passing judgement. I know it’s unpopular with most, but I kind of dig Frank Miller’s new messy art style. I hear everyone saying it’s lazy and too out there, but I kind of like it. It’s just so craggy and bat-shit crazy and I get something out of it, I won’t lie.

Stabby, Stabby Xmas.

Well… it’s December the first, so there’s no getting away from it, it’s nearly Christmas. I try and ignore it in November when people are shoving it down your throat, but once December comes, you can’t ignore it anymore. Nope…

This year I’m having a Dario Argento Christmas. I’ve just ordered a few of his movies to watch over the holiday period. Partly as because as a horror fan, Argento is a bit of a blind-spot for me and Xmas would be a good time to dive in and check out his work and correct that. Also partly just my way of trying to stimulate the Italian economy. I’m not sure why I went this route? I was just doing my Xmas shopping online, late Monday night, and it dawn on me that’s how I should handle this year’s Xmas. A few Dario Argento DVDs, Vodka (stimulating the Russian economy), and plenty of snacks. This is my plan for the holiday season this year… also, maybe that really cool, new book on film Monsters by John Landis.

If that’s what I’m getting this year, here’s what I imagine all the girls will be after this Christmas. I can just see it ending up with her and Action Man held up in a boarded up Doll’s House, while Zombie My Little Ponies roam about outside waiting to attack.