Crunchy Summer.

One of the major down sides of this muggy excuse for a summer is that there been a lot less flesh on show. Usually the summer turns every one into horny dogs, but this summer nearly everyone turned into confused, muggy puddles. Which is why it caught me by surprise the other day when I was standing in the queue and realized I was surrounded by three women, all hopefully feeling the summer vibe. Ahead of me in the queue was this posh looking blonde buying a bottle of what looked like Champaign and a Giraffe made out of wire which was carefully being put in bubble wrap. There was also the young check out girl and a woman behind me with fuzzy hair buying chocolate and gossip mags. In the middle of them all it suddenly hit me what a let down this summer had been women wise and could this be the start of a more exciting summer? All three girls were nice (especially the posh blonde with the wire Giraffe). The checkout girl started scanning my stuff while smiling up at me. I start bagging my stuff while looking back and forth between the girls, and then the checkout girl had to ruin it all by going “that’s six pounds sixty-six pence” as she said it you could see it dawn on her and they all suddenly started to look genuinely uncomfortable and I thought I’d better get out of there before they started shaving my head looking for a tiny flower head looking mark of three sixes all meeting up at the tip. So I held back the urge to scream, “I’m not the antichrist, I’m a nice guy” and left before they brought out the overpriced holy water.


Everything’s against me this summer. Even God. “Sob”