I recently come up with the theory that Zombies are like the blow-jobs of the horror genre. In that there’s the joke that there is no such thing as a bad blow-job. Think of the worst blow-job you ever got… still pretty good, right? And that’s how I see Zombie movies. Even the worst ones are still enjoyable enough. I’ve watched Big Tits Zombies twice, and could happily watch it right now. Sure, the effects in some of these movies look awful, like they’ve just bought them from a joke shop or something. But most Zombie films usually have a couple of things going for them (I give Big Tits Zombies extra marks just for having Sola Aoi in it, because she’s cute-as-hell.) A scene or two that made it worth taking the DVD out its case, and popping it in the DVD player. I worry Zombie Ass may be the movie that breaks this theory. I don’t want to live in a world where there is a Zombie movie I hate. I get that it’s tongue-in-cheek, I just worry it’s the wrong kind of cheek. Sure… there’s very few movies that couldn’t be improved by having Japanese girl’s bottoms in them… but not like this… the horror… the horror. If this was tumblr, I’d post this next.
This post has been a little bit bluer than normal. Religious holidays bring it out in me. I apologies.
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